Seasons Greetings

I Just wanted to say Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from us to you.

Enjoy!

-Lubeen

Confessions of a Workaholic

Disgusted. Outraged. That is precisely how I feel when I do anything at a substandard level that I know could have done much better. Which has not happened in awhile. Not for any reason but the fact that I have not been required to do any thinking that required such. But it did not start that way. I had ample time to complete this assignment. Almost a month. And what did I do? Dove straight into the ocean of procrastination, knowing full well you cannot tread water forever. Then the beginning of this week came. I could taste the anxiety. Normally it would not be this tangible, but my grade for this course hinges on this 12-15 page research paper. It would be unthinkable for me to not at least be about my business when it comes to that, right? Suffice to say, I have never been so distracted in my life. Ever social media outlet and website was my distraction. Not to mention work, and my community college classes have finals next week. In short, I forgot about college. I'll say it. Flying back and forth to St. Louis 4 different times this semester, has made the idea of college seem more like summer camp. In September, it was years away. Now I have a month before the rest of my life begins. And this is how I begin? With a lackluster paper I would not feel comfortable giving Flavor Flav to edit. The mere sight of it in my open word document makes me upset. 12-15 pages. Try 10 with the bibliography. Semblance of togetherness? There might be, if I didnt construct it between yesterday and right now. A year ago, this would not have been a problem. In fact, I was a pro at it. But the time off has dulled my writing acumen, and my insistence on putting this assignment on the backburner has had disastrous repercussions for my psyche, and heaven knows what it will look like for my infantile GPA. I never shirk r But....this is perhaps what I needed. Reality check. I've been working this semester...but not how I will need too in order to succeed in my new residence. Now that transition period is here. But it is time. I use this as fuel, and although I will not pay Premium price again, it is a lesson well learned.

"Excuses are monuments that build bridges to nowhere" - Anonymous

- Mr. Jackson

Mr. Jackson, we're a problem

I'm not even gonna say anything to introduce this other than this is what can happen thanks to that 5ive blackberry connection. lets gooo

Participants:
-------------
John , Jonathan

Messages:
---------

John : Yo
John : We bout to do some bbm backandforth verses
John : Imma start
John : You're gonna do the next line
John : sometimes I wish I could grow wings and fly away/cause life aint promised, shit I could even die today
Jonathan: If it came down to it what did I bring/ was I real with my life to make the angels sing
John : But when they start singing will I even hear their song?/cause a dude is always sinnin', predisposed to doing wrong
Jonathan: In school I used to stay silent/it wasn't even about my faith/plus with the amount of work I had talking out of turn as a black man could have been a giant mistake
John : I turned into a closet Christian, kept God with my polos/ sunday morning service in the chapel, it was a no-go./ and I mean that with no blasphemy, its just that I wasn't making God my priority
Jonathan: See that's the about this life, it will get u dead/and when you don't foster your soul you spirit doesn't get fed/now its been a minute and I still trip up/ but I had an epiphany that God never runs amuck
John : He doesn't leave, He doesn't lie, He only loves/ so I try to do the same till they take me off my plug
Jonathan: And if you're a church kid it gets hard/cause hip hop culture is about beloved in the church as the BET awards
Jonathan: But topic switch I need to address this/what in the world is viacom allowed to serve black people up like breakfast
John : What's a collge hill and who the fuck goes on a hell date?/ who ever is writing these shows should have a cell mate
Jonathan: Good gracious and the media loves it/they want us to goo back a couple hundred years and lynch ourselves/and we walk around cosigning it
Jonathan: And the young kids growing up want to 50/he lives in Connecticut/ yeah he comes back to the hood but he always goes home surrounded by sicamore wood
John : While for them a mansion is only a dream/ so they use his music as a manual on how to get cream/ if only they really knew what success means
Jonathan: And let's examine hip hop moguls for a minute/jigga man been acting a little funky/ I did some research there's illuminati signatures all over his company
Jonathan: But I digress its still a war on ignorance and poverty/ and as long as I'm black in new Hampshire police feel inclined to follow me
John : This aint twitter and your ass aint a fan/ you're definitely the reason why black folkes hate "the man"
Jonathan: Who...me? I aint never done anything wrong/yes u did stop trying to hide/u convinced these little queens that instead their mind they should reveal their backside
John : And after that they just start to backslide/ get with a rich dude so they can get a maybach ride/ but all he really wants is a lay-back-ride
Jonathan: See the problem with the culture is easy/rappers talk a lot but freeze up when we require accountability/MC tough guy talking about putting things in her mouth/ you have two sons a daughter you can't be relevant to us if you don't run your own house
John : Yet you take the term "real dude" and run with it/ while you got your fam walking 'round on some hunger shit/ now please tell me where's the man in that/i'm only 18 but I still can answer back./ a real man knows to take care of his own/ and to worry bout what's inside, not outside his home
Jonathan: Every image of us as men gets distored/ we either in the movies beating our wives, not feeding our babies or doing both while seeing multiple ladies/i am the son of a king, its impossible for me to be an auto-coon/especially when its 2010 and you have the death of darrion Albert and instead people ngo buckwild over New moon
John : Forget about a new moon, I wanna see a new day/ when what sells doesn't depend on radio play/ when the media doesn't care if your straight or gay/ when my people succeed despite what all the haters say

Jonathan: And planned parenthood stops preying on the hood/and pastors give us truth instead of what sounds good/ politicians aren't dirty and marrief men believe in commitment/where policemen do their job the right way and Al sharpton doesn't just show up on the scene for the newscamera foray

John : Son, we're nice
John : Lol
John : Hella good shit
John : Imma put this on the blog

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

haha. That's it, thats all. Btw, this all Just happened. Big Lube is quick with his.

As Always,

Pax, Amor et Musica

Tonight I Realized

I wrote this piece a little while ago, and I actually never intended to post it, send it, or really have it see the light of day. But I figured I've been sitting on it for long enough, and letting it sit there and gather dust is pointless. So Here's a poem of mine called Tonight I Realized. Let me know what you think.

Tonight I Realized

Tonight I realized why I keep some people at a distance,

and why those whom I hold close

only hear part of the description.

No one can see the way I see,

feel the way I feel,

Love to the extent that I love,

But from another perspective my love

was seen as a lack thereof.

Tonight I realized why dwell on things I shouldn't,

and try to rationalize and figure out why

she's upset with me for things I couldn't-

even fucking realize I did wrong,

it must mean that my mind's gone,

or maybe I'm just a waste,

But I know that's not the case,

well, at least I hope,

because this feeling that's building within my throat

is way worse than feeling broke

cause the feeling within my throat's

got me feeling like imma choke...

and I would get choked up,

but I'm a man and men don't cry,

but this glassy layer over my eye

says something a little different.

Tonight I realized that although I think I lost the war

there's more than enough reason to fight the war,

because I know what I'm truly fighting for,

and only I can fathom it's importance.

The key to my future, the meaning to my past,

and I hope you didn't believe it when you said

it didn't have a meaning...

Tonight I realized that despite how I want things to look,

this isn't a story book,

and no matter how hard I try

I can't bring Alice back to Wonderland.

But it is, or was, in my hands

to make her dreams her realities,

or at least make her reality

parallel her wildest dreams.

So as I sit and beg the mad hatter to abandon his clock

in hopes that time will also take time,

giving me time to make things right.

Because every girl deserves the chance to

live a fairy tale,

but this Jack is all Heart

and although he found his queen,

the union left his head in the clouds.

As Always,

Pax, Amore et Musica

Fear the Jumbo Guy...

hello hello,

yes its been a while, you probably have not heard from me since i got to college, my apologies, takes a little while to get into the swing of things, 5 classes, track et al...

so yup, its about that time again. believe it or not, im still running for Lori. lol

guy is back out on the track.

so my main event is long jump, but i am running too, but you know the rule, anything more than 200m is pushing it...

what else is going on in my life? stay tuned and you will find out soon enough...

*we are going to resume our regular postings....

Ebony Eyes: Stress Edition

Apologies for the hiatus...but as you see the 5ive still holds it down.






" I don't fear failure, I only fear mediocrity" - Jerry Blackwell

House Lights, Bravoes

Damn. Been too long. That's on me.

Where do I start?

Knee surgery. yale. 2 A's and 1 B- (hopefully). dropped econ. mo' money mo' _ . you already know. As old friendships grow, new ones manifest themselves. no ceilings. no holds barred. started downloading music. indecisive. bridging the gap. haircut. bud. mad bud. zeta psi. im still here, just been gone for a minute. fake punt on 4th and 22. I hate harvard. and brian.

I'll have something more structured next time...

JbP