Tonight I Realized

I wrote this piece a little while ago, and I actually never intended to post it, send it, or really have it see the light of day. But I figured I've been sitting on it for long enough, and letting it sit there and gather dust is pointless. So Here's a poem of mine called Tonight I Realized. Let me know what you think.

Tonight I Realized

Tonight I realized why I keep some people at a distance,

and why those whom I hold close

only hear part of the description.

No one can see the way I see,

feel the way I feel,

Love to the extent that I love,

But from another perspective my love

was seen as a lack thereof.

Tonight I realized why dwell on things I shouldn't,

and try to rationalize and figure out why

she's upset with me for things I couldn't-

even fucking realize I did wrong,

it must mean that my mind's gone,

or maybe I'm just a waste,

But I know that's not the case,

well, at least I hope,

because this feeling that's building within my throat

is way worse than feeling broke

cause the feeling within my throat's

got me feeling like imma choke...

and I would get choked up,

but I'm a man and men don't cry,

but this glassy layer over my eye

says something a little different.

Tonight I realized that although I think I lost the war

there's more than enough reason to fight the war,

because I know what I'm truly fighting for,

and only I can fathom it's importance.

The key to my future, the meaning to my past,

and I hope you didn't believe it when you said

it didn't have a meaning...

Tonight I realized that despite how I want things to look,

this isn't a story book,

and no matter how hard I try

I can't bring Alice back to Wonderland.

But it is, or was, in my hands

to make her dreams her realities,

or at least make her reality

parallel her wildest dreams.

So as I sit and beg the mad hatter to abandon his clock

in hopes that time will also take time,

giving me time to make things right.

Because every girl deserves the chance to

live a fairy tale,

but this Jack is all Heart

and although he found his queen,

the union left his head in the clouds.

As Always,

Pax, Amore et Musica